i am scared of my own mental state perhaps i shall sleep
maybe then it will feel as if i am not drowning from sinking too deep
a poem i written from my journal

i repeatedly asked for therapy
I think this is getting out of hand
Im not sure I can deal with this
my mind never seems to land
i cant understand the products of my mind
sneaking to and from
Appearing in different designs
i am scared of my own mentality
perhaps i will sleep
maybe then it will feel-
as I’m not drowning from sinking too deep

May 8 2014

my current dream left before my eyes once i truly remembered it and now my mind is blank without any recognition of the dream I feel as I were my classmates in my dream but i not sure and this is just an estimate

May 6, 2014 

i am as frightened of her as she is me

March 5, 2014

in my journal i found the first time i dreamt of her

"it’s one o clock and i cannot sleep, i am tired behind no repair but her face doesn’t allow me. I have not recalled to any recent memories, but i have uncertainties that my imagination would create such a horrid beast. A smile so grim one cut as if a Cheshire grin hair so golden brown as if I was blinded such a skinny face you can count every detail in its expression. I want to talk to her tell her to go away but my mouth won’t move It’s as if my mouth were glued shut

I am scared I want to sleep

May 6 2014

recently i haven’t dreamt of ‘her’ but im scared shes doing this to lower my guard. even though shes not actually real i fear her even more that i cant get her out of my head

exo m + colors

exo m + colors